Birth Plans, Themes, and Maternity Pictures...

I'm starting to freak myself out.

I know that I shouldn't, but I keep watching shows like A Baby Story and Bringing Home Baby that make me wonder what we're going to do for our birthing plan. I really need to do more research, but I'm so terrified of the entire labor and delivery process that I can't bring myself to pick up another book. But put a woman in excruciating pain on TLC and I am glued to the screen.

I know there are a lot of benefits to water births and they are also supposed to be more calming to the mother, but I don't think I could go through with one. I'm also hesitant to go to a midwife for one reason: my past medical issues. I have been prone to sickness my whole life and have also had a couple cervical cancer scares. Luckily, they were just scares and nothing more to worry about. I also have a tilted uterus, which is why I look like I'm 28 weeks instead of only 15. That can sometimes lead to the baby getting stuck during delivery, so my doctor is encouraging me to stick with a hospital just in case there are complications. I don't want a C-section because they aren't the best delivery method for the baby. There are also risks for me. However, I was a C-section baby, and I turned out ok (for the most part). Maybe I'll just let mother nature take over and stop analyzing (yeah, right). Or maybe I'll feel a little better after our maternity tour at the hospital next week.

I want to start shopping so I have some sort of therapy while I stress over the birthing plan, but I can't because we don't know the gender yet. I can't even start looking at stuff for the nursery because Eric and I don't want to pick a theme until we know the gender. I wish we could just pick something gender neutral so I can at least online window shop, but I know we'll regret it as soon as we know the gender. My mom is coming to visit for Memorial Day weekend and I would love to start the baby registry then, but we'll just have to wait and see. Can we just jump to 20 weeks?

I have also had to start thinking about a maternity photo shoot. Apparently some of the photographers in Charleston require you to schedule 3-4 months in advance. That means I have to schedule this week, but I'm having a difficult time picking a company. I don't want the same pictures everyone else has. No bows around the belly, or topless with my hands covering my chest showing off the bump, etc. I want something different, something a little artsy, and I want Eric in most of the pictures. I wish there was an easier way to compare photographers and prices. Oh, and the really fun part is that I have to pay a retainer when I book the appointment for 3-4 months from now. I really hope I don't have any complications and end up losing it!

And people say that pregnancy is easy...